Two weeks wow..somedays it feels way longer somedays it feels like just yesterday! Still taking the pills of course, still pretty content and happy, tho having a bit more times where i get a little miffed over something or am feeling stressed, but nothing to bad. Went to my daughters Spring Concert with school last night, sitting in the auditorium with a butt load of people who all grabbed a last smoke before coming in, it sure smelt like smoke! everywhere i turned! it didn't smell bad, it kind of smelt good, which scared me, because i have smelt it before since i quit and it was gross! not sure why it smelt good last night, BUT i usually take my evening pill about 5pm, and i had forgot for the first time ever, and it was around 7, 730 when i was smelling the smoke, so maybe just that one pill..missed..i dont know, i didnt want to have a smoke, i just noticed it smelt good.
I didn't forget about my page, just been busy! so a few things, first being WOOT still quit, tomorrow will be Double Digits worth of days! I am feeling happy,content,more relaxed,less stressed,sleeping awesomely!!!! i mean its a dream come true! which is where im stressing errrrr....i can't help but wonder if the Champex has some how altered things to make me feel this way!? i don't mind, but i worry once i am no longer on them how am i going to feel? like shit? will i have trouble sleeping? will i be pissy and unhappy and moody! if there is a chance of that, can i take Champex forever lol... Didn't get a chance to pop on over the weekend..I was worried the weekend would be hard, Hub home,kids home,all in my face..no real "structure" to the weekend. But it was good! I purposely took on a few of my Smoke Triggers to see how i handled them!, Maybe that was too soon..I drank a few beer, i love my Beer, im just that kind of Gal, and smoking and beer go hand in hand for me, but nope I did just fine! then i went out to eat, big meal with a drink and a social setting..and didn't smoke! so all in all it was a good weekend, my stress did go up a few times, with having the whole family here and coming at me for all sorts of things, but when ever the thought crossed my mind, "i could have one, or just try and see, or a puff won't kill me" i remember there is no such thing as ONE smoke, Addiction is Addiction...there is no such thing as just One shot of Heroin, or one line of Coke ..its the same thing. Start of a new week! looking forward to taking it on! No adverse effects of the champex..still no major nausea (eating with pills helps!!!) and loads of water...only thing i still notice is it makes me sleepy..but getting extra sleep thats coming really easy to you, is not bad when your fighting an addiction, so its a bonus in my books!> Well its the start of day 2 and i'm doing pretty good! im finding that when the phone rings and its someone i know who talks a lot, i instantly want to put my coat on and go for a smoke as i answer the phone...or before going up to bed...or when i have a few free minutes during the day ( i work at home as a Nanny) i want to slip outside for a smoke, but i soon realised its not because i want to have a smoke, its the routine of my actions, the habit of going and doing it built into so many elements of my life, that will be the hardest to break! but aside from that, feeling good, slept well last night. Started my Max dose of champex this morning...feeling good about my choice to quit earlier then what i originally set out to do. hopefully this rush of feeling decent does not crash and burn and become replaced with bitchy,moaning, woah is me stuff lol. Well my Last day of smoking was suppose to be Friday night before bed, but i decided last night before bed was it for me ( Wednesday) which is actually not recomended till you start your full does into the 2nd week, but i dont care. I wondered at first by moving up my quit date if i was self sabatoging on purpose ..Then this morning was hit with crap that stressed me out, and i cant stop thinking about a smoke..but im not gonna smoke, i have been awake over three hours and not had anything, I will make it till bedtime, then wake up tomorow and do it all over again! Can you tell i got alot of time on my hands today! lol...well i decided rather then waiting till Saturday, im gonna have my LAST smoke tonight before bed!!!! Wanted to put this in here so i could easily go back to it and read it on a hard day!! 1 Realize that you can achieve it. There is nothing different about you, and the only person who can make you smoke that next cigarette is you. 2 There is absolutely nothing to give up. On the contrary, there are enormous positive gains to be made, I do not only mean you will be healthier and richer. I mean you will enjoy the good times more and be less miserable during the bad times. 3 Get it clear in your head that there is no such thing as one cigarette. Smoking is a drug addiction and a chain re action. By moaning about the odd cigarette you will only be punishing yourself needlessly. 4 See the whole business of smoking not as a sociable habit that might injure you. but as drug addiction. Face up to the fact that, whether you like it or not, YOU HAVE GOT THE DISEASE. It will not go away because you bury your head in the sand. Remember: like all crippling diseases, it not only lasts for life but gets worse and worse. The easiest time to cure it is now. 5 Separate the disease (i.e. the chemical addiction) from the frame of mind of being a smoker or a non-smoker. All smokers, if given the opportunity to go back to the time before they became hooked, would jump at that opportunity. You have that opportunity today! Don't even think about it as 'giving up' smoking. When you have made the final decision that you have smoked your last cigarette you will already be a non-smoker. A smoker is one of those poor wretches who have to go through life destroying themselves with cigarettes. A non-smoker is someone who doesn't. Once you have made that final decision, you have already achieved your object. Rejoice in the fact. Do not it moping waiting for the chemical addiction to go. Get out and enjoy life immediately. Life is marvelous even when you are addicted to nicotine, and each day it will get better when you aren't. Well its day 6..what to say..i feel kind of scatter brained! had intentions of not smoking this morning when i first got up, again i know my last day of smoking isn't till Friday but im curious to see if i can...tho i woke up this morning to a crazed coffee pot! it went off at the set time, and brewed backwards and spilt all over and it was a big hot mess! and i have to say my first thought was "well shit" and outside i went..its the actual Habit of when..why ...i smoke i see troubles with, because that smoke didn't help me any, it just prolonged me cleaning the mess and making more coffee.. Still smoking but not as much.. getting very anxious about waking saturday morning and not smoking! on a weekend..when my family is home, and in my face and i have errands etc to get done, thats not a great thing, but at the sametime being busy is what i NEED ... Day 5 March 4th Start of Day 5, just 5? i feel like its been longer since i started the pills! This morning i got up, and didn't go for a smoke, on purpose just to see, normally i get up and go right outside, my eyes are still crusty and im not even awake. so i got up at 6, had a coffee, watched the news, then eventually went out for a smoke about 7. Thats really good for me, and tho i was thinking about smoking when i got up, it wasnt in the I NEED IT way it was i wonder how long i can go, even tho its not my quit date. I think my hubby noticed i didn't go out tho, not sure. Actually i really hope this isn't true cause i really wanted to surprise my hub, but a few times i noticed, hes a little more understanding and calm the last day or so if we happen to have a little tiff, last night he sat beside me and rubbed my knee and said how was your night with real concern like he was worried something was wrong, it was a little odd...unless he knows and hes trying NOT to poke the bear hahaha...we will see. I kind of feel the need for some music to get me going this morning, not real upbeat but currently a favorite tune of mine : ) Day 4 March 3rd - I know im missing day 2, but i can't always write, and sometimes i won't bother putting in everyday. So far things okay. Feeling less stressed, These pills are reaking havoc on my poor skin tho! i am breaking out and soo dry on my face! Booo...im trying to give as much detail as possible because this might help someone out who has decided to take Champex aswell and is looking for advice or experiences. Also i'm soo soo soo tierd! i fight to keep my eyes open all day, then at night i lay down and im asleep within like 2 minutes, that is VERY uncommon for me, as i suffer from insomnia now and then, its a great side effect at night! just not day time. Well couple more days of smoking, then i quit, and continue the pills. Today i start the double dose, one in the morning AND evenings..this is where i fear the side effects possible with this medication will kick in.. |